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The Apartment

March 2, 2010

You see, I have this little problem with my new apartment. Technically it’s not an apartment. A painted brick and cement structure may be. But the broker certified that it is one. Everyone you happen to meet in Chennai streets, when you are looking to rent a house, will be a broker. If you disprove this, I promise that I will give up my right to be a broker when you are walking in streets looking to rent a house.

I had stayed in my old apartment for four and half years now. The Owner of the house politely, very politely, informed us that he cannot rent his apartment for charity no longer. He selflessly announced a ‘nominal’ revision. Henceforth, we are to pay a monthly rent of Fifteen Thousand rupees instead of Ten Thousand rupees. He has done his homework. Dinamalar said that global economy is recovering. Who are we to dispute Dinamalar? We either pay or we vacate. We vacated.

And we moved on to our new apartment just across two streets. It’s a real nice apartment. Nothing fancy, but just right for bachelors. We stay in the First floor with the house owner in the ground floor. The Apartment comes with a ‘bouquet of benefits’ like those listed in your offer letters: Street parking facility; free swimming pool in rainy season; Neighbours who never sleep and so a secure area; a 24/7 bawling baby and a super singer in the next building and many more. And if you believe that my list is a total farce and they don’t make a bouquet of benefits then you probably never worked in an IT Company. My listing is better one.

There are two dogs in our apartment – a Mongrel and a Doberman. Johnnie, the Mongrel, needs no description. His humbly requested to use an ‘ie’ instead of ‘y’ when spelling his name. He apparently doesn’t believe in the saying ‘What’s in a name’. He is a gentleman’s gentle dog. The Doberman is named Ruby. Ruby, too, believes that everything’s in a name. He behaves like a ‘gem’ of a dog. He just eats, shoots and sleeps. We also have love birds in our apartment. It depresses me. No, it’s not because of me being single. Let me be clear: My progressive-liberal-broad mind and big heart yearns for freedom for those wings. I demand a call for action to abolish cages for all birds. Hand me down Nobel please. The birds and dogs never bath. I have decided to catch a cold forever.

This apartment is cheaper than our previous one. Good for us that the owner reads Murasoli and not Dinamalar. You are right. He belongs to the party. I am now a party man, too and I solemnly declare my approval to all Paarattu Vizhas. Beat it, dear Ajith. I strongly recommend you to take some rest to correct this ‘spine’ problem. The apartment is window less. Probably the builders believe more in the open source – the doors. Grit and dirt lay spread in front of the house as another apartment is coming up opposite. A garbage dump is located nearby, and it looks cleaner than most roads.

It might all sound like no problem. Probably there ain’t one. Probably I am just missing a home. I don’t know. I guess that’s the way it crumbles, apartmentwise.

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